


Je ne comprends pas, je suis anglais, ya-hey ~

by Mixk



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-17
Updated: 2010-10-17
Packaged: 2017-10-13 01:05:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/131106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mixk/pseuds/Mixk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p> They're in Paris for a job. Arthur can speak French but Eames can't (or at least he's pretending he can't) so he makes Arthur translate back and forth for him... partly because Arthur sounds sexy speaking French and partly because he gets to make Arthur say ridiculous things for him.. For  <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/inception_kink/11941.html?thread=26444965#t26444965">this prompt</a> over at <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/inception_kink/profile"><img/></a><strong><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/inception_kink/">inception_kink</a></strong>  </p>
            </blockquote>





	Je ne comprends pas, je suis anglais, ya-hey ~

**Title:** Je ne comprends pas, je suis anglais, ya-hey ~   
**Characters/Pairings:**  Arthur/Eames  
 **Genre/Warnings:** Humor, pre-slash, LOTS of French here but fear not dear friends for you'll find the translation at the end.  
 **Spoilers:** A little bit? Like you haven't seen the movie anyway  
 **Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters, just borrowing them for fun  
 **Summary:**  They're in Paris for a job. Arthur can speak French but Eames can't (or at least he's pretending he can't) so he makes Arthur translate back and forth for him... partly because Arthur sounds sexy speaking French and partly because he gets to make Arthur say ridiculous things for him.. For  [this prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/inception_kink/11941.html?thread=26444965#t26444965) over at [](http://community.livejournal.com/inception_kink/profile) **[inception_kink](http://community.livejournal.com/inception_kink/)**     
 **A/N :** This is not beta'ed, all mistakes are mine. There shouldn't be any mistakes in French, I can at least guarantee you that ♥  I should stop hanging at the kink meme, shouldn't I ?  
 **Word count** : ~1100  
"Monsieur Henrot?" Arthur greets their client as he and Eames find their way in the crowded bistrot, somewhere near Nation, in Paris. The man looks young, mid forties and still has all of his hair. He nods and shakes their hand, motioning them over to a free table in an isolated corner of the room. It's their first job since the Fischer job, and somehow he and Eames silently agreed to work exclusively with each other since then. It leaves them with less complication that way.

"Voici votre cible¹," he says as he hands a folder to Arthur while a waiter puts down a pitcher of lemon ice water on their table and three glasses. Their client waits for him to leave before pursuing, "Un de nos employés, on le soupçonne de transmettre des informations à un de nos concurrents²."

"Vous voulez--³" Arthur starts saying but Eames interrupts him by nudging his side. Arthur glares at him questioningly, "What?"

"Care to translate for me, darling?" Eames smirks as he leans back in the booth comfortably.

"Are you kidding me?" Arthur says, keeping his voice low so that the meeting remains professional and not turn into one of their countless bickering.

"Je ne comprends pas, je suis anglais [4], ya--" Eames singsongs but Arthur punches his thigh under the table, clenching his teeth in frustration.

"For the love of God, Eames," Arthur hisses and glances at their client who looks at them with an amused expression on his face. "Veuillez m'excuser, monsieur Henrot [5]."

"Pas de soucis," he waves a hand in a dismissive manner and pours them some water. "Vous pouvez lui faire la traduction, ça ne me dérange pas du tout. [6]"

Sighing, Arthur resigns himself to translate for Eames, "The mark is an employee suspected of corporate espionage; you know, the usual. I was about to ask the client what was our task. I assume confirming the espionage and find the mark's other employer."

"Why, thank you, dear," Eames beams and puts an arm back behind Arthur who ignores it blatantly. He loves hearing Arthur speak in French, there is a little something in Arthur's accent that makes it just irresistible. "By all means, continue."

"J'imagine que notre tâche est de confirmer l'espionnage orchestré par la cible? Et de trouver pour qui il travaille? [7]"

"Tout à fait," their client replies and slips an envelope on the table. "Voici votre avance, vous aurez droit au double si vous réussissez. [8]"

Arthur takes the envelope swiftly, checking the amount quickly before slipping it in the inside pocket of his suit. Ten thousand euros, that's thirty thousand total for him and Eames to split if they succeed.

"Arthur dear, ask him about the mark's entourage, will you?" Eames says with a serious tone as he scans the files given by the client, the one tone Arthur actually likes hearing from Eames. Eames is a brilliant forger, and can be professional when he puts his heart in it but the man enjoys getting under Arthur's skin way too much to remain serious all the time.

"Pouvez-vous nous en dire un peu plus sur l'entourage de la cible? Est-il marié? Une compagne?[9]" Arthur asks the routine questions when a forgery's involved. First check if the mark's married or seeing someone.

"Je ne crois pas non, [10]" mister Henrot replies. If the mark's single, then find someone the mark trusts.

"De la famille, peut être? Un collègue? Cela nous aiderait grandement si on pouvait s'approprier quelqu'un proche de lui, [11]" Arthur explains.

"S'approprier? [12]" The man asks, confused.

"Mon collègue," Arthur points to Eames, "va s'approprier l'identité de cette personne dans le rêve, il prend son apparence, adopte son langage corporel, etc. afin de gagner la confiance de la cible et de le distraire pendant que moi j'irai chercher l'information. [13]"

"Ah, d'accord," the client nods in understanding. "Eh bien, il me semble qu'il vit avec sa soeur, mais je n'en sais pas plus sur sa relation avec elle, [14]" the client answers him.

"On fera avec, [15]" Arthur replies and proceeds to translate all that's been said to Eames, all the while Arthur catches their client glancing at them from time to time with an amused look.

"Vous êtes ensemble depuis longtemps, vous deux? [16]" The client asks out of the blue after Arthur's finished recapitulating to Eames.

"Pardon?" Arthur asks back incredulously, taken aback by the question and he checks with his totem just in case he heard wrong.

"Ça se voit," the client remarks with a smirk as he takes a sip of his glass. "Vous me rappelez ma femme et moi. [17]"

"Bien que cela ne vous regarde en aucun cas monsieur Henrot, je tiens à vous assurer que monsieur Eames et moi ne sommes que des collègues de travail, [18]" Arthur says quickly.

"Mais bien entendu, [19]" he replies with an all too knowing smile that Arthur finds utterly hateful.

"What'd you say?" Eames asks, leaning way too close for comfort and Arthur jerks back.

"I told him we were just colleagues and not together or whatever he thinks we are," Arthur replies, sounding annoyed.

"Why must you be so heartless, pet," Eames puts a hand on his chest and fakes a hurt gasp.

"Stop it," Arthur punches him again, eliciting a groan of pain from the British man.

"Tell him we've been together for a couple years now, and ask him if he knows any romantic place for us to have dinner," Eames says, grinning like an absolute fool.

"Are you out of your mind?" Arthur is sending death threat glares in his direction now. "On vous contactera une fois le travail fini, monsieur Henrot, à bientôt. [20]"

Arthur shakes the client's hand and stands up abruptly, his glass of water untouched, making his way out of the bistrot, Eames following his steps closely.

"No more jobs for the French," Arthur points a finger on Eames's chest once they're out in the Parisian streets.

"But you sound so lovely when you speak French, darling," Eames slips an arm around Arthur's waist, placing his hand on the other man's hip.

"I do not sound 'lovely' as you put it," Arthur says and takes Eames's arm off of him. "You're just insufferable."

"But you love me all the same, don't you?"

"Je te hais. [21]"

"Je t'aime aussi, bébé, [22]" Eames replies teasingly, letting out an 'oops' as Arthur turns to look at him with wide eyes.

"You bastard, you do speak French after all, don't you?" Arthur says, his voice devoid of any actual anger.

"Of course I do, is there any better way to seduce you than to speak French, mhh?" Eames grins as he carresses Arthur's cheek. "Now, what about that romantic dinner, Arthur? Qu'est-ce que tu en dis? [23]"

"J'en dis que nous avons du boulot, [24]" Arthur says as he shrugs off Eames's hand and keeps walking.

"I love it when you're bossy," Eames says and follows him.

FIN

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Translation :

1 : This is your target  
2 : One of our employees, he's suspected of trading information with one of our competitors.  
3 : You want--  
4 : I do not understand, I am English  
5 : Please forgive me, mister Henrot.  
6 : "No problem," he waves a hand in a dismissive manner and pour them some water. "You can translate to him, I don't mind at all."  
7 : I suppose our task is to confirm the espionage operated by the mark? And to find out for whom he's working?  
8 : "Exactly," their client replies and slips an envelope on the table. "Here's your advance, you'll get double that if you succeed."  
9 : Can you tell us a little more about the mark's entourage? Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend?  
10 : I don't think so  
11 : Someone from his family, maybe? A colleague? It would help us greatly if we could appropriate someone close to the mark  
12 : Appropriate?  
13 : "My colleague," Arthur points to Eames, "will appropriate the identity of said person in the dream, he'll take their appearance, adopt their body language, etc. to earn the mark's trust and distract him while I will get the information."  
14: "Ah, all right," the client nods in understanding. "Well, I think he's living with his sister, but I don't know much more about his relationship with her," the client answers him.  
15 : We'll make do with it.  
16 : You two have been together for a long time, yes?  
17 : "I can tell," the client remarks with a smirk as he takes a sip of his glass. "You remind me of me and my wife."  
18 : Even if this is none of your business, mister Henrot, I can assure you that mister Eames and I are just work colleagues.  
19 : Of course.  
20 : We'll contact you once the job is done, mister Henrot, see you soon.  
21 : I hate you  
22 : I love you too, baby.  
23 : What do you say?  
24 : I say we have work to do.  


**Author's Note:**

> Oh God, that's so much French to suffer through, I apologize.   
> Please leave some feedback anyway? ♥  
> 
>  **Current mood:**
> 
> stressed


End file.
